Relational Circuits

I was reminded today about relational circuits.  This is a metaphor that is used in the book, “Escaping Enemy Mode” by Dr. Jim Wilder and Ray Woolridge regarding how God created our brain to be relational, but we can “dim” or turn off the switch.  What happens when we do?  We stop being relational.   We go into reactionary mode.  We lose creativity.  We get stuck. 

For survivors, with all that we’ve gone through, we often live in “enemy mode” with our relational circuits dimmed or off.  We can’t afford more pain and it can be easier to isolate.  There’s no blame in this at all.  It is survival mode and how we stayed alive.  But now we get to learn a new way.  God created our brains with this ability to open and close our relational circuits for good reason. 

You can take a moment and see for yourself where you are right now.  Do you feel tense and stressed (hypervigilant)?  Are you avoiding a person or problem?  Is your mind fixed on something upsetting?  Do you tend to have rigid thinking?  Do you tend to judge or try to fix others?  If you said yes to one or more of the above, your relational circuits might need some help. 

It is a process of learning to keep our relational circuits open.  We all dim the switch or turn it off at different times and places.  No condemnation.  But it is helpful to be more aware of how often we feel fully alive, safe, loved and engaging in life or when we are fearful, isolating and holding back.  God’s desire for us is to experience all He has for us which includes vibrant relationship with Him and others.  Our relational circuits affect ALL our relationships including God.  If they are closed off, we can’t hear, see, sense and experience God the way He desires us to. 

Here are some ways to help our relational circuits stay open:  Breath exercises – box breathing (4 counts inhalation, 4 counts hold, 4 counts exhale, 4 counts hold) or short inhalation through the nose and long exhalation through the mouth.  Yawning.  That’s right!  Psychopaths don’t yawn when others do!  Yawning is a powerful way we sync with others and helps to open our relational circuits.  Appreciation and gratitude activate the relational portions of our brain.  Being seen, heard, known and understood (attuning) keeps us connecting. 

Be encouraged.  Breathe.  Yawn. Connect with God and experience His love.  Find a friend you can attune with.  Keep those relational circuits open and active!  This brings joy!