Most survivors want the healing NOW!  It is not easy to trust True FAMILY for Their timing and way, but I have found that Their way is best and that I can trust Them.  They are the author and finisher of our faith and our journey.  Parts with false identities as not well understood by most survivors.  The way a cult maintains control is to program parts of an individual to believe they are the handler or programmer and assign them the “job” of keeping the person in line with the cult’s purposes. 

I will always be grateful to God for answering this prayer before I even prayed it with providing Jo as my prayer minister!  In addition, He answered this prayer with my husband, Ken, who is an incredible part of my healing journey.  I still struggle at times asking God why.  So many survivors struggle alone – why did He bless me in these ways and with such a beautiful community?  His answer is always that He is sovereign and knows our journeys.  For those who are isolated and alone, He has a plan for you too.  There are reasons in His sovereign care as He is teaching us.  For the things He has called me to, this was His gift.  For others, the challenges may be part of their journey which has restoration in a different way.  I know He gives us the strength whatever our path looks like!

This paragraph is pretty self-explanatory, but challenging, especially forgiving ourselves.  Before my memories began to surface, I thought I was a pretty good Christian and handled things well.  I was well versed in forgiveness and the necessity of doing it.  And because I “kept all the rules” in my presenter, I really didn’t need a Savior.  Of course I know the rhetoric and believed it, but in practice, I managed things pretty well on my own.  When the memories began to surface, I began to realize just how much I didn’t really know about forgiveness in practice, both forgiving perpetrators and then also forgiving myself, which to me is the hardest!

I used to wonder if I was really “saved” because I hadn’t led anyone to the Lord.  However, since discovering my trauma journey and understanding about parts, I’ve had the privilege of leading many of my parts to True FAMILY!  There is much joy in this and it is part of this prayer – learning how to minister to our parts and to pray for them.  Is that a new thought for you?  It was at first for me. There is a cooperating between us and True FAMILY in ministering to our parts.  Some people tend towards doing all the “work” ourselves and others can be passive in just leaving it all to True FAMILY.  What They really desire is for us to work together with our parts for wholeness.  It shouldn’t be a burden or a “have to” but a joyful part of our journey with True FAMILY. 

“I relinquish the right to decide for myself what I can handle today, and instead I trust You not to overwhelm me.  According to my joy capacity, which You are daily building in me, bring memories and information to me at the pace for which You know I am ready.  Please remove all demonic out of the memories and do not allow them to enhance or to use traumatic memories to accomplish their agendas.”

In this series of blogs, I thought I would share some explanations about the Morning prayer by Jo Getzinger, my prayer minister.  Some of you have asked questions about these prayers, so I will take it paragraph by paragraph.  Some of it might seem obvious, but I think this can be helpful for all of us.  If you’d like to see the full prayer you can go to www.Care1.org or purchase Prayer Warriors from Amazon.  This is the next paragraph:

In the next few blogs, I thought I would share some explanations about the Morning prayer by Jo Getzinger, my prayer minister.  Some of you have asked questions about these prayers, so I will take it paragraph by paragraph.  Some of it might seem obvious, but I think this can be helpful for all of us.  If you’d like to see the full prayer you can go to www.Care1.org or purchase Prayer Warriors from Amazon. 

As I’m writing this, I’m overstuffed with too much delicious food after enjoying time with family.  My favorite combination of turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, and green bean casserole all mixed together.  With pumpkin pie for dessert, of course!  Yes, a food coma!  Why do we do this to ourselves? Giving thanks relationally is part of expanding our joy capacity, an important function in life in general but also in the healing process. 

Recently master/slave agreements and programming has come up for me and I thought it would be a good thing to chat about.  While this definitely is a part of mind control, it often infects religion, culture, marriage and more.  In the cult, even though one is supposedly the “master” the reality is they are also being controlled by another master.  Everyone is enslaved.

A lot of the time I feel like I have the best job in the world!  Ken and I just finished a beautiful prayer intensive with someone from our community.  There was such a richness and glory to the reconciliation and healing that True FAMILY brought.  Does every session end this way?  Not always.  Often there are hard things to face and there isn’t the fullness of restoration every time.  At least not yet.  But there is hope.  And that is what keeps me going and many in our community. 

It doesn’t sound like a great title after our honeymoon, but I want to address things that come up even when we “should” be having a good time.  For the life of a survivor, memories coming up do not wait for a convenient time.  But we can find grace with True FAMILY to walk through them. 

I am grateful for this time away on our honeymoon although I miss our community greatly!  I was so out of time and space, I forgot to send a newsletter or blog last week but trust you all understand!  All of us need to take a pause every little bit and experience God’s goodness and rest.  I have to say it is not entirely comfortable for me as I love my normal routine, but it is very much needed.  We enjoyed a wonderful time at the beach as well as visiting friends and family.  Soon it will be back to work.