Overcoming Shame

I had a meltdown this week.  It wasn’t pretty.  I was surprised as I had been feeling pretty good, but it was a cascade of things that triggered – small things that snowballed.  I was hysterical.  It was embarrassing.  It happened during a prayer session with Jo.  Ken was with me as usual.  I wondered if they would still love me after falling apart so badly. 

Most of my shame is neatly tucked away because of my programming.  I know some of you feel it a lot more than I do.  It doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist for me, just that I had more programming to keep me “functional.”  But as I’m healing, I’m having to face more and more of it.  It’s not easy.  But I know the key to overcoming shame is vulnerability. 

God created us originally to be “naked and unashamed” in innocence.  We’ve lost this feeling in our efforts to “cover up” our sin and pain.  We’ve been taught it is dangerous to be ourselves and to conform to what we think others want us to be.  We hide away the hard stuff, painful stuff.  In Christianity, we were often taught to just “focus on the positive” meanwhile stuffing our pain.  Did it work?  Did it make us feel better?  Maybe temporarily but it didn’t solve the issue of shame. 

I am so very grateful for relationships where I can be myself. Sometimes it is embarrassing when I fall apart like I did this week.  But it is reassuring as others continue to love me for who I am.  This helps me to be more real, more myself and to share my pain as I am able.  This is how we overcome shame – by being vulnerable with True FAMILY and with safe community. 

I hope you have a safe place that you can be you.  There is so much relief in being loved for who we are without having to hide.  Let’s do this together!